Gut-check

Reason No. 2,369 to get down on the holidays: Too much free food.

I have been exposed daily to free cake, cookies, sweets, chocolates, doughnuts, pie and mounds and mounds of starches and carbs. It's too much of a good thing.

I went to the first of three Christmas parties last night. It was an opulent affair, hosted by a manager at the orthopedic/rehab office at which I work. There was a chocolate-fondue fountain, catering, 3-foot sheet cake, open bar and live music. And wouldn't you know it -- I loaded my small plate several times full of pasta, eggplant parm, cheese and crackers and spinach dip and had a huge slice of cake.

Two more parties to go.

Sure, it's easy to say, "Well no one's making you eat all that." But with me, nothing's ever that simple. I work out like I do in part because I have no willpower whatsoever. I am a sad glutton. If you watched me eat, you'd swear I hadn't eaten in a week.

I'm feeling fatter than ever. It's so unfair how it can take months to get into shape but only a handful of days to erase all that hard work. It's going to take me two months to undo what I've eaten these past two weeks. And I still have to get through my birthday and Christmas.

That said, I love the holidays in general, and I love getting together with people I care about. It's just terribly, terribly rough seas for those who are trying to watch their weight. I'm really struggling.

Current mood: Depressed