Nightmare

Waited 2 hours on standby at ORD for United's last flight out to MCO for the night

Earlier, nearly lost it at an attendant, who, to talk me off the ledge, put me at the top of the standby list

But I didn't get called

Defeated, went to United "customer service" desk, where I spent the next 2 hours

Saw two pissed-off men at the front of the line almost come to blows -- they literally were nose-to-nose, F-word flying, until someone else came between them

Finally got to speak to an attendant

I apparently had become overtly agigated (became "That Guy" in line, the stereotypical short-fused person in a long line who causes an uncomfortable scene) because a second, snootier attendant asked what was going on and intervened

Yelled at him, periodically cutting him off mid-sentence when he tried to use his "blame the passenger" attitude on me

Almost came to tears when I was told there are NO flights on ANY airline to ANY airport in Florida until Saturday night, or I could wait until Sunday. Even asked about first and business classes and was willing to pay; was told there was nothing to offer even for purchase

Booked me on flight to JAX for Saturday night

Supposed to be home Thursday night

Will spend the night on a bench at ORD, holding out slim hope I can fly standby first thing Friday

This will definitely hold some weight when I finally decide whether I actually can do this new job.