A case study in housing collapse

Thanks to Infinitefetish for this story:

TAMPA — Thousands of miles from the trading floors of global stock markets, an abandoned house in one of Tampa's poorest neighborhoods is an improbable place to learn about why the world's financial system is collapsing.

But if you want to understand how we got into this mess, the stucco house at 4809 N 17th St. isn't a bad place to start.

Coach class

Back when I was still unemployed, a former rowing coach asked whether I wanted to volunteer to help him out with Central Florida Rowing, UCF's club crew program, just a couple of days a week, because he needed the help, and well, I wasn't doing anything at the time.

I'm glad I took him up on the offer, because I've been surprised at how much I've enjoyed it and how much I care about the kids. (I can't stop myself from calling them "kids," even though the group of 8 or 9 whom I coach are college freshmen and sophomores.)

I think it's been a win-win for both me and them. It's been a personal-enrichment exercise for me as far as trying to convey processes and techniques, as well as help develop what little leadership skills I have.

At the high-paying software-company job I left earlier this year, I played a similar role of instructor -- but it was of technical information at which I myself was not an expert and therefore uncomfortable explaining. (I still think I could have become an expert eventually, but not before I rode the elevator to the roof of the swanky office building in which I worked and leaped off.)

But rowing: I do know rowing well -- at least the fundamentals -- and uncharacteristically, I can say that with confidence.

I coach two afternoons a week, riding in a launch just like this and barking out simple orders like a drill sergeant. I've always been soft-spoken, which has caused some trouble because I have to not only make sure the rowers hear me from 30 feet away, but I also have to shout over a motor. But that's all part of the personal-enrichment exercise I guess. I've been learning to yell, and I sometimes come home hoarse.

I even find myself thinking of coaching (read: work, even though I'm unpaid) on my days off, coming up with exercises and drills, thinking of what "we" need to work on or what needs improvement. I've rarely held a position that occupied my thoughts on my days off. I show up thoroughly prepared, with LED lights (it gets dark during the time we're on the lake, and we're all supposed to wear lights, a la cyclists, for safety), tools, reporter's notepad, athletic tape, seat pads and various other pieces of equipment.

The aforementioned former UCF coach once saw me walking across the beach with my little reporter's notepad -- I carried it because I'm horrible with names and I was adamant to learn them -- and said to me, "The good news, is you're organized. The bad news is, you're organized." The implication was that I could easily give myself an ulcer at this job, because trying to stick to a plan is futile when one little unexpected occurrence, such as a single rower no-showing, will inevitably be a monkey wrench. (Which immediately harkened me back to my failure at the software-company job. I think I tried too hard to be methodical, which is in my DNA. When things happened so fast and so chaotically there, I was doomed to fail.)

Coaching also has helped me feel useful, important and productive professionally. I feel like the kids are getting something out of it, too, since they're doing drills and learning techniques with which they're not familiar. They seem to respect me, and a few have even followed me to my car after a practice and asked if I could help them get better at X or Y. I have another story with this item, but I'll save it for our next convo.

It's a new position in which I find myself, and I'm having fun with it so far.

BFFs

SuperTarget or Bloomingdale's?

The new SuperTarget near our house is da bomb.

Rooftop garage parking. Escalator for your shopping cart. It's so cosmopolitan.

But foot traffic has been slow, so it's new, clean — and empty.

I never want to shop anywhere else.

SuperTarget

The Aldi report

I'm not adverse to buying weird-label, generic stuff, if the ingredients on the label are identical to the comparable name-brand item.

I'm cheap like that. As long as the can/bottle/package doesn't have high fructose corn syrup listed among the first 4 or 5 ingredients, and the ingredients match the name brand, I'm all over the Great Value, Archer Farms, all-white packaging.

And I know many people aren't as fortunate, but I'm generally not in a rush to get my shopping done. So I have time to read the labels.

So I think I have to give Aldi a thumbs up, but...

I doubt I would ever consider it my "main" grocery store.

We have an Aldi right close to us. It's by no means an out-of-the-way trip. (I guess that says something about the neighborhood in which we live, since Aldi stores would be laughed out of Bay Hills and Heathrows.) Also within a few miles of Chez R-H, we also have a dingy strip-mall Walmart (is that a redundancy?), at least two Publixes and, as of this Sunday, a shiny new SuperTarzhay.

Since Aldi is in our vicinity, I think just their price of milk ($2.80) is worth a regular trip. That's about a buck cheaper than most other places. If we were well off, I'd be more concerned about buying organic and hormone-free, but for now, I'm my conscience is somewhat clean by eating vegetarian. I'll go nondairy or organic when money isn't as much of a factor.

I think we also can pick up other nonperishable items there, such as canned fruit -- Aldi's "Fit N' Active" no-name brand, LOL -- and non-calorie sweetener without worry. (I suppose you could concern yourself with how much or how little each company is compensating their workers to pick the fruit you're eating, but I'm sure there's always something you could be outraged about.)

I'd have to sample Aldi's other dairy products and bread before deciding whether it's edible/worth it. I'm very picky about yogurt, cheese, cottage cheese and bread. I hate thin yogurt -- I hated yogurt period until a few years ago -- and insist on buying 100 percent whole wheat bread that isn't enriched, which I could not find there.

We get our fresh fruit from a local produce market. Their prices are low, which, like Aldi, tends to attract the lower-income crowd. But it's always clean, there are middle-class shoppers there, and I love the strong smell of fresh produce that hits you when you walk in.

Definitely not on my Aldi grocery list: the $0.50 vegetable soup (shudder -- full of high fructose corn syrup), the pasta sauce (heard it was runny) and things such as garbage bags that we've been burned on when buying generic in the past.

As for their reputation: When we visited, the place was clean -- but it is a brand-new store -- and the aisles were packed full of low-income shoppers. We wondered what the over/under was (couldn't be long) on when the inside of the store would start looking like the Walmart down the road. One man who passed me smelled not so fresh. Again, not anything that I hadn't experienced in the aisles at Sprawlmart at 3 a.m. I liked that you had to insert a coin to get a cart; there weren't any abandoned carts floating randomly in the parking lot.

I'd say for us, since it's nearby, it's fine as a convenience store. Good for popping in for milk and canned goods. But for the bulk of our groceries, we'll stick with Publix or SuperTarzhay's Archer Farms.

Thank you, Dubya

I'm so proud of my dad.

I visited him the other day, and he dropped a bombshell on me: He registered to vote, and he's voting this Nov. 4 for what he says is the first time in more than 40 years.

To know why that's huge is to know my dad.

He is the quintessential crusty old veteran. Yes, that get-off-my-lawn, white-undershirt-wearing grouch who's socially conservative and handy with all things mechanical. As her father's daughter, I also know he has a heart of gold and a soft side, but as you might expect, he's very good at hiding that part.

He's also a 20-year enlisted man and a Vietnam vet. I love listening to his war stories, from how he cowered in a jet's cockpit as a VC sniper shot at the air base he was stationed, to how the servicemen there were paid (in "Monopoly money," so U.S. greenbacks wouldn't circulate overseas), to how he stood in line at the mess tent and and watched a large Marine, fresh from the jungle, get shot in the leg, only to insist he get his food and eat.

He's never said a bad word about our military and never will. Neither will I.

But over the course of the past couple of years, I've listened to how disgusted he's become with Washington. He's now convinced our current leaders have made a complete mockery of the uniform, have damaged our military hierarchy and tarnished our country's good name. And he's fuming mad.

"Why did they use funny money in Vietnam but bring real dollars to Iraq?" he asked me the other day, his voice and blood pressure rising. "Now, millions are missing. Disappeared. They'll never find it."

Also:

"Why aren't these [Wall Street execs] in jail? They knew what was coming."

"She can't name one newspaper she reads? Not even the Anchorage paper? Or one Supreme Court decision?"

"It's such a mess over there [in Iraq]. What are we doing?"

I just shake my head. Not because I disagree with my dad, but because I am in awe that a military retiree could hate the war(s) that much. He's become a big supporter of getting our troops outta Dodge.

I laughed out loud so hard when he recalled to me how a GOP supporter proudly sporting McCain buttons canvassed his neighborhood lately and knocked on his door.

"Mr. H, I see you're not registered to vote yet."

"Yeah, what business is that of yours?" (classic dad)

"Did you know that..."

"I'm voting for Obama."

"Sir, I think that would be a big mistake..."

"Who are you to tell me I'm making a mistake -- on my property? Goodbye."

Of course, a Democratic Party supporter also happened to be working the neighborhood that day, and, in true form, my dad quickly ushered that man off his property, too.

"Mr. H, I see you're not registered to vote..."

"How do you know I'm Mr. H?"

"Um, are you...?"

"What business is that of yours?"

So my dad went and registered. He's voting. This is a man who's vowed to me in the past that he never has had any interest in voting because he's completely disgusted with politics and politicians. As long as I can remember, his attitude has been, "They're all corrupt. There's no one to vote for. Waste of time. Why bother."

He says he's never cared this much about an election since JFK, the last time he cared about a candidate. "And the last guy I liked was shot" -- which also has him concerned. But this monumental change in my dad couldn't have been possible without the policies of the Bush administration. So I guess I owe him some gratitude.

Florida's Amendment 2

Don't voters have more important issues to worry about other than whether people they may or may not know can marry? What about education, the economy? I am trying, but I just can't wrap my head around conservatives' priorities.

To my sister: Moles

Let's bag these up

Looking forward to shopping this weekend at ALDI, a Germany-based, no-frills grocery chain. It has the reputation and feel here in the States of being an IKEA meets Walmart: Although there are cashiers, you have to bag your own groceries; the food, mostly staples such as canned goods, produce, milk and bread, is mostly ALDI-branded; it has a warehouse feel, where food is stacked in pallets and replaced when only the pallets are empty; they sell plastic bags, but you can bring your own; and you have to pay a $0.25 deposit into a machine for a cart, which you get back when you return.

That last one sounds really cheap, but it's (1) common practice in Europe, and (2) meant to discourage lazy people from abandoning their carts in the parking lot, which takes resources to go track down. I'm definitely all for that one; it drives me nuts to see people leave their empty shopping carts in whatever space next to their car they can find instead of walking a short 10 paces to put it in the space clearly marked "Cart return."

The chain is trying to make a big move in the U.S., with 13 new stores in Central Florida, and from what's been going on in the economy lately, they've picked a strategic time to do it.

Downside: From what I've read on its Wikipedia page, ALDI started out with a rep like Food Lion, a place only poor people with food stamps would shop. Since most of their food is generic, ALDI brands, it also had a rep for being poor quality, a la "Dixie Darling."

On the flip side, you can say the same thing about Walmart, which hasn't exactly suffered for being low-cost. And with the European economy being dragged down by ours, ALDI's rep has been elevated a bit.

NPR: Caring makes us human

From a prisoner serving time for murder:

It was an amazing bit of grace to feel him under my hand and know that I was enriching the life of another creature with something as simple as my care. I believe that caring for something or someone in need is what makes us human.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=95088503&ft=1&f=10

Morality bites

My summer of slaughtering the meat I eat left me with mixed feelings. But not the feelings I'd imagined. I thought I might emerge from it with a greater sense of entitlement and accomplishment. Like if you can face the realities of meat, you're allowed to eat it. But I felt no sense of entitlement. I felt more hesitance, a deeper reverence and a new conscientiousness.

read more | digg story

"It's like a really bad Disney movie"

Matt Damon saying everything I've thought about Sarah Palin.

Triumph at RNC

"Change is coming"

I guess if you can't beat 'em, steal your opponent's platform: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=94332523

Sleeping like this

Obama on Gustav -- from a TIME blogger

Obama spent today giving curtailed speeches in respect to Hurricane Gustav. But tonight, in front of a Milwaukee audience of 14,000, invoking both the Bible and Thoreau, he was as good as I’ve ever heard him.

read more | digg story

No matter your political leanings, you have to admit that Obama is perhaps one of the greatest public speakers of his generation.

Bad water

Seagulls ride out the whitecaps on Tampa Bay as Gustav squall line rolls through.

Scary situation

Driving back from St. Pete in the Prius, we got caught in that squall line from Gustav on the Howard Frankland. For about 5 mins, it got pretty frightening to be on the freeway. Traffic slowed to about 25 MPH a couple of minutes after I snapped this. That's sis' BF in the white truck in front.

Prius HUD part 2

A button switches the HUD from battery status to energy consumption. This says I'm averaging 48 MPG. Yes, I took this while driving. Kids, don't try this at home.

Prius HUD

Driving sis' BF's Prius back from new house in St. Pete to old house in Tampa. Heads-up display shows car recharging its battery.

Over Tampa Bay

Howard Frankland Bridge, heading southwest to sis' new home in St. Pete yesterday. Note squall line from Gustav in the distance to the south.

Screening room

Highly recommended: Tokyo Godfathers. I stumbled upon it last night while channel surfing, and since it just happened to be starting on Ovation TV, I stopped, thinking that I'd watch the first few minutes and keep going. Instead, I was captured by its amazing animation and its warm, sympathetic characters. I normally have a hard time sitting through a two-hour movie at home, but the plot moved quickly, and it had just the right amount of goofy Japanese schmaltz to make it heartwarming but not over the top. A wonderful, unexpected treat.

Too Much of a Bad Thing

NYT's Maureen Dowd:

My mom did not approve of men who cheated on their wives. She called them “long-tailed rats.”

During the 2000 race, she listened to news reports about John McCain confessing to dalliances that caused his first marriage to fall apart after he came back from his stint as a P.O.W. in Vietnam.

I figured, given her stringent moral standards, that her great affection for McCain would be dimmed.

“So,” I asked her, “what do you think of that?”

“A man who lives in a box for five years can do whatever he wants,” she replied matter-of-factly.

I was startled, but it brought home to me what a powerful get-out-of-jail-free card McCain had earned by not getting out of jail free. [MORE]

Fay vs. Orlando

Shot tonight, 6 p.m., from my front porch. It's been just like this for more than 24 hours now. It just won't stop raining. At about 48 seconds into the video, a gust whips up. The 'bush' to the left of the vid is actually a low tree that has been knocked over. It was being supported by ropes and stakes, so we expected it to fall over.

Eyesore update

A second slant-eyes pose, this time from an Argentinian sports team, as emerged.

But I'm actually kind of glad it did, because it started a lively discussion among Consumerist readers, who are a bit more mature than your average Yahoo and at least can post halfway intelligent responses (for the most part).

Many thought it was slightly offensive, but not to the extreme as blackface. A few didn't think so at all. An Argentinian even responded to say that it is not considered offensive in his country and described the action as "friendly and playful." He was quite nice and said that "if any Chinese friends out there find this offensive I apologize for my misunderstanding."

Finally, a commenter asked if there were any Asians out there who would say whether the photo(s) offended them, to which I and several others had the same response: Yes, it's offensive. Yes, we've seen it all before, including people saying to us, "ching, chong, ching, chong," as if that means something in Chinese.

However, aside from one, all the Asian commenters grew up in North America or Northern Europe. Have we become so overy sensitive that we can't take a joke? Or is the rest of the world so isolated from other cultures that they still find other types of people curious and amusing? The one Asian commenter not from the West said he lived in Seoul, and when he asked a friend whether the photo was offensive, his friend said no.

That doesn't change my personal feelings toward the photos, which is that if there were a question as to its taste, do something else. Just be polite.

The evil eye

As a kid, I was on the receiving end of this gesture countless times. And invariably, the kid performing the gesture had to recite the "Chinese, Japanese..." rhyme, perhaps making it a "cute" playground act.

I'm sure every Asian kid who grew up outside of Asia has had it done to him at some point in his life.

But adults -- pro athletes to whom people look up as role models -- making the grade-school gesture? Immature. Intolerant. Unnecessary. Disappointing.

I've tried to keep an open mind, see their side: Perhaps the culture in which they were raised might not expose them to offensive gestures. Or, am I overreacting, too sensitive? Becoming another annoying case of political correctness run amok?

No, I don't think so. It is an offensive gesture.

It's a gesture performed by millions of youngsters the world over for the purpose of teasing another. No, young kids don't know right from wrong yet. But they don't tease others like a teen boy who would tease a girl because he secretly likes her and is trying to keep her attention. Youngsters aren't that complicated yet. They tease because they either simply get a laugh or kick from mocking another, or they're angry, jealous or trying to assert dominance. For the most part, they eventually grow out of teasing altogether and don't find it amusing any more.

So back to the Spanish team.

"One of our sponsors asked us to pose with a 'wink' to our participation in Beijing, [so] we made an Oriental expression with our eyes," Spaniard Jose Calderon, who plays for the NBA's Toronto Raptors, said on his Web site. "We thought it was something appropriate and that it would always be interpreted as somewhat loving."

If the gesture were all in good fun and a gesture of respect, would they have willingly posed with spears for an Olympic Games held in Africa? Who knows. But I doubt the advertiser for whom the Spanish team posed ever would have approved of that. Why is it seemingly acceptible to tease Asians but not other minorities?

Not all on the Spanish team was comfortable with the pose. Pau Gasol, another NBA player, said, "Some of us didn’t feel comfortable doing it just because to me it was a little clownish for our part to be doing that. ... I think it is just a bad idea I guess to do that, but it was never intended to be offensive or racist against anybody. ... I didn’t find it very funny. I didn’t find it offensive, either. I guess some guys didn’t mind. To me I don’t want to be that way, I guess, to be doing that stuff."

So if at least one person in the group felt sheepish about the gesture, that should have been a red flag. I don't mean to be the P.C. Police. But if the team and advertiser wanted to pay respect to the Chinese, there were so many other ways to do it than a schoolyard taunt.

UPDATE: Good question posed by buddy Plan9B: How do Asians living in Spain feel about the ad?

Colmes bites back...

... after lengthy discussion about John Edwards' affair.

Debbie Downer moment

Ate at one of my favorite sushi places in town, Bikkuri, tonight. I hadn't eaten there in several weeks, and I'm sad to say it's not what it used to be. WAS: Part take-out, part counter-service sushi joint, with a limited number of two-tops at which you could eat after your food was prepared, that appealed to downtown hipsters on a budget. NOW: Full-service Japanese restaurant with a bigger kitchen, and the former kitchen preparing take-out meals only. Tonight, there weren't nearly as many people in there as there used to be. The prices on the menu also have gone up, and that combined with now having to tip yer wait staff is a double punch in the pocketbook.

I liked going there not only because it had pretty decent sushi for the price, but it was a charming little place that reminded me a little bit of Tokyo. I loved the atmosphere. It always seemed to bustle with skinny, hip urbanites, gay and straight. The Engrish signage and menu items made me smile. You ordered at the counter right by the front door, then loitered around, grabbed an always-recent copy of GQ, US Weekly, People or Entertainment Weekly from the stack of magazines they always had near the front door, or hoped to snag a coveted table while waiting for your food.

Now, it's just another generic Japanese restaurant. (Except for the residual Engrish, thank goodness.)

YES!

I love revivalist holy rollers/ravers! They're hilarious!!!

12-volt battery hack

An inside tour of the world's biggest supercollider

The comments on the original TED page (fearmongering, playing God, etc.) are just as entertaining...

Fast food In Beijing is a little different

If you're ever in Beijing, stick with McDonald's [shudder]....

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In loose style, McCain leads a camp divided

From NYT:

WASHINGTON — Senator John McCain is so quick to pick up his gold-colored cellphone to solicit advice — from senators, campaign consultants, even the stray former deputy press secretary — that aides, concerned about his tendency to adopt the last opinion he has heard, have tried to cut back on the time he has to make calls.

Mr. McCain is known to sign off on big campaign decisions and then to march off his own reservation. Two weeks ago, he publicly disagreed with his own spokeswoman, Jill Hazelbaker, after she used a line of attack against Senator Barack Obama that he had approved after careful strategizing within his campaign. Ms. Hazelbaker raced out of the Virginia campaign headquarters and refused to take Mr. McCain’s calls of apology, aides said, and a plan to have Republican members of Congress use the same critical line about Mr. Obama’s foreign trip fell apart. [MORE]

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at Comic-Con

While diligently shilling his wares at Comic-Con '08, Robert Smigel somehow found time to shoot a Triumph the Insult Comic Dog segment for Late Night with Conan O'Brien.

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Olbermann: Anthrax attacks an inside job?

Before Olbermann even came on the air yesterday, I said to my BF earlier in the day: "I don't think that anthrax suspect is dead. How convenient he 'dies.' Now the story comes to an end, and it will quietly go away." (Then he replied, "You aren't serious, are you?")

I still think the suspect is either not dead and is being hidden by our government, or he is dead but knew too much and was a security threat. I know I sound like a loon, but this story just feels wrong.

6 AUGUST UPDATE: Now the Feds say the suspect was "solely responsible." Nothing to see here, folks! Move along!

New York Times: Low-Road Express

On July 3, news reports said Senator John McCain, worried that he might lose the election before it started, opened his doors to disciples of Karl Rove. In recent weeks, Mr. McCain has been waving the flag of fear (Senator Barack Obama wants to “lose” in Iraq), and issuing attacks that are sophomoric (suggesting that Mr. Obama is a socialist).

read more | digg story

Felonious fees: Hidden fees (and how to avoid them)

These days, fees no longer surprise us, and companies know that. In fact, many businesses are raising fees. "Consumers have not revolted, so companies are getting bolder. They're charging for more things, and charging more for them."

read more | digg story

Brides suggest cosmetic enhancements for bridesmaids

After the band was chosen and the napkins color-coordinated to match her shoes, Kacey Knauer, a bride-to-be, had another critical matter to address: her skin, and the skin of the nine women in her bridal party.

read more | digg story

This is sick. Am I that naive, or are there that many vain people out there with that much disposable income?

Current mood: Disgusted

4,000 U.S. combat deaths, and just a handful of images

BAGHDAD — The case of a freelance photographer in Iraq who was barred from covering the Marines after he posted photos on the Internet of several of them dead has underscored what some journalists say is a growing effort by the American military to control graphic images from the war.

read more | digg story

11 reasons America is the new top socialist economy

How free market ideology backfired, sabotaging capitalistic democracy.

read more | digg story

Flugtag

My sis, Allen, and a group are at Red Bull Flugtag right now! Curse you! :)

Eds: My old employer's swanky office overlooked the venue. I wonder whether any of my former coworkers are watching it from their office windows.

Figuring me out, one in a series

I took an evaluation yesterday akin to a Myers-Briggs test, if you've ever had to take one of those at your job. This one, called the StrengthsFinder, was created by a former Gallup researcher who is a leadership and management consultant. He now lectures to Fortune 500 corporations on tailoring jobs to fit the personalities of their workers, instead of forcing workers to fit jobs, in order to maximize job satisfaction and performance and therefore company productivity. I'll let you do the Googling if you so choose.

Anyway, my results of the evaluation are below. The test kicks back your top five "themes," or natural, innate talents, of a possible 34. My top five were no surprise to me and shouldn't be to anyone who knows me well. Apparently, the Adaptive theme is very common among journalists. The Deliberative and Intellection themes in me say I need some time to figure out What It Means and how I'm supposed to use these to my advantage.

Deliberative

You are careful. You are vigilant. You are a private person. You know that the world is an unpredictable place. Everything may seem in order, but beneath the surface you sense the many risks. Rather than denying these risks, you draw each one out into the open. Then each risk can be identified, assessed, and ultimately reduced. Thus, you are a fairly serious person who approaches life with a certain reserve. For example, you like to plan ahead so as to anticipate what might go wrong. You select your friends cautiously and keep your own counsel when the conversation turns to personal matters. You are careful not to give too much praise and recognition, lest it be misconstrued. If some people don’t like you because you are not as effusive as others, then so be it. For you, life is not a popularity contest. Life is something of a minefield. Others can run through it recklessly if they so choose, but you take a different approach. You identify the dangers, weigh their relative impact, and then place your feet deliberately. You walk with care.

Adaptability

You live in the moment. You don’t see the future as a fixed destination. Instead, you see it as a place that you create out of the choices that you make right now. And so you discover your future one choice at a time. This doesn’t mean that you don’t have plans. You probably do. But this theme of Adaptability does enable you to respond willingly to the demands of the moment even if they pull you away from your plans. Unlike some, you don’t resent sudden requests or unforeseen detours. You expect them. They are inevitable. Indeed, on some level you actually look forward to them. You are, at heart, a very flexible person who can stay productive when the demands of work are pulling you in many different directions at once.

Connectedness

Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger. Some may call it the collective unconscious. Others may label it spirit or life force. But whatever your word of choice, you gain confidence from knowing that we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it. This feeling of Connectedness implies certain responsibilities. If we are all part of a larger picture, then we must not harm others because we will be harming ourselves. We must not exploit because we will be exploiting ourselves. Your awareness of these responsibilities creates your value system. You are considerate, caring, and accepting. Certain of the unity of humankind, you are a bridge builder for people of different cultures. Sensitive to the invisible hand, you can give others comfort that there is a purpose beyond our humdrum lives. The exact articles of your faith will depend on your upbringing and your culture, but your faith is strong. It sustains you and your close friends in the face of life’s mysteries.

Intellection

You like to think. You like mental activity. You like exercising the “muscles” of your brain, stretching them in multiple directions. This need for mental activity may be focused; for example, you may be trying to solve a problem or develop an idea or understand another person’s feelings. The exact focus will depend on your other strengths. On the other hand, this mental activity may very well lack focus. The theme of Intellection does not dictate what you are thinking about; it simply describes that you like to think. You are the kind of person who enjoys your time alone because it is your time for musing and reflection. You are introspective. In a sense you are your own best companion, as you pose yourself questions and try out answers on yourself to see how they sound. This introspection may lead you to a slight sense of discontent as you compare what you are actually doing with all the thoughts and ideas that your mind conceives. Or this introspection may tend toward more pragmatic matters such as the events of the day or a conversation that you plan to have later. Wherever it leads you, this mental hum is one of the constants of your life.

Learner

You love to learn. The subject matter that interests you most will be determined by your other themes and experiences, but whatever the subject, you will always be drawn to the process of learning. The process, more than the content or the result, is especially exciting for you. You are energized by the steady and deliberate journey from ignorance to competence. The thrill of the first few facts, the early efforts to recite or practice what you have learned, the growing confidence of a skill mastered—this is the process that entices you. Your excitement leads you to engage in adult learning experiences—yoga or piano lessons or graduate classes. It enables you to thrive in dynamic work environments where you are asked to take on short project assignments and are expected to learn a lot about the new subject matter in a short period of time and then move on to the next one. This Learner theme does not necessarily mean that you seek to become the subject matter expert, or that you are striving for the respect that accompanies a professional or academic credential. The outcome of the learning is less significant than the “getting there.”

For former newsies

We Were Print

In search of a beautiful mind

He was long a jewel of the MIT faculty. Now, after a devastating brain injury, mathematician Seymour Papert is struggling bravely to learn again how to think like, speak like, be like the man of genius he was. Papert has a devoted group of caregivers working around the clock, including nurses, a physical trainer, and a speech therapist.

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Windows crapware: There are alternatives

Great list from Lifehacker of alternatives to Windows nagware/bloatware/adware.

Aside: We used to joke incessantly at my old job about Adobe Acrobat and Updater bloatware, and it's first on the list!

Application to Avoid: Adobe Reader
Indictment: Bloatware
Superior Alternative(s): FoxIt Reader or Sumatra PDF
Notes: There are much worse offenders on this list than Adobe Reader, which has gotten more performant over the years. Keep in mind that Adobe deals with some PDF's (like ones with editable form fields) better than FoxIt. If you don't want to ditch Adobe Reader entirely, here's how to tweak Adobe 8 for speed.

Little victories

Finished my first plumbing job this afternoon, after several days of "how the hell is that supposed to connect to that": Changing a p trap (launches video) underneath one of the bathroom sinks.

A few days ago, I dropped two of my four necklace charms down a sink drain while unclasping the necklace (yeah, yeah, I know never to remove jewelry right above a sink, but it was 4 a.m.). I knew dropping rings down drains was a common annoyance, so I figured there must be instructions online, perhaps at wikihow.com, on ways to retrieve them. After trolling for solutions, I came to the conclusion that (1) they were in the p trap, (2) WTF I don't even know what a p trap is, and (3) I would have to remove aforementioned p trap to get them out -- built-up hair, muck and all.

The instructions for removing the p trap were straightforward enough. But I found out the hard way the existing plumbing was old and corroded when I went to undo the p trap connections. The trap broke off in my hand with not much effort. My BF was not happy, but I managed to convince him that the pipe was so worn and corroded that better to find out now than to have it unexpectedly fail and burst on us sometime in the near future.

I was determined to learn to change it myself. My online research convinced me that it's an easy job, like fixing a toilet, for which you shouldn't call a plumber. And I'd feel guilty shelling out $300 for a plumber to change $20-$30 worth of parts. This afternoon, on my third trip to Lowe's for parts, I reached in my purse to pull out $6 for a nondescript plastic pipe that would serve as an extension between two other pipes.

"Looks like someone's changing a trap," the gentleman behind me said.

He was a crusty old guy in a white undershirt and jeans who looked like a military retiree, which immediately reminded me of my Dad. Before I'd read about p traps, I never would have been able to look at that generic piece of plastic pipe and told you what it was for.

"Well, trying to, anyway," I said with a smile. "I've been here three times now for various things, but I think I got it now. I'm definitely learning how to do this the hard way."

"That's how I learned 20 years ago. Only way you're gonna learn is to do it."

Several trips to Lowe's for extensions, PVC adapters and gaskets, plus several hours of research time later, the trap has been replaced. And I'm proud to say it's not leaking (yet). I'm keeping towels under there for a few days, just in case. (Oh yeah, and I got both charms back.)

Time for an update

Yep, I'm still unemployed.

But I want to thank the family and friends who have helped me in my job search during these past couple of months. I've been genuinely overwhelmed by your generosity in providing me with leads -- all unsolicited -- whether it be with your own employers or jobs that have crossed your desk you've forwarded on to me. Nothing has panned out yet, but my determination to remain optimistic is driven by your kindness and friendship.

By my estimate, I've applied to well more than 100 jobs. (To put it into perspective: I ran into a former colleague at a restaurant, a couple of weeks after I quit my job. He'd managed to find work as a communications spokesman for a local institution and said he sent his resume out more than 300 times before he landed the new gig. So I won't hit the panic button until then.) And with the newspaper industry in a freefall and the market flooded with communications majors LFW (looking for work), I honestly don't expect to hear from 98 percent of those employers. But you ask 100 girls out on a date...

I've had moments of doubt to be sure, but I still stand by my choice to leave my last job. Of course, if I had to do it all over again, I wish I could change how I did it. And I deeply regret that my relationship with my boss, which I considered to be as much friendship as business relationship, has gone silent. I hope I didn't cause him too much consternation.

But I'll persist at the job search. Luckily for my BF, I'm a super-cheap date. I'm like a pet goldfish -- I don't require much other than food and a comfortable home. ;) The food I eat is typically cheap (no meat!), and I rarely eat out unless he's the one who asks. Just gimme soup and sandwiches (anyone who has ever worked or gone to school with me knows that's all I ever brought for lunch), cereal, microwaveable dinners and the Internet, and I'm good to go.

Besides trolling the job boards and filling out apps just about every day, I've been keeping busy at my rowing club. I've been maintaining their Web site -- I didn't design it; I just update content -- which surprisingly has been getting a lot of traffic (one unique visitor from New Zealand, another from Switzerland!) lately.

I've also been rowing five to six mornings a week in preparation for a regatta in Delaware in which I will compete in a couple of weeks (no, our competition will not be the same age as those geezers on the main page, he he). (In a sick irony, the plane ticket I bought to Philly to get to the regatta gave me the 100 frequent-flyer miles I needed to get Premier status on USAir/United, which effectively would have gone a long way toward mitigating my travel woes at my last job.) Thank you, American taxpayers, for financing my trip. :)

The great practices my team has had recently have been wonderful in keeping my spirits up, and I feel pretty good physically, the best I've felt since late last year. I've seen a noticeable improvement in my rowing-machine workouts, and my seat in the boat that I had to give up (stroke) for work -- we have to compete for spots in the racing boats, because seats in those boats are limited -- I quickly have won back.

I don't think I realized when I started my last job how much not rowing was going to affect me physically and emotionally. I tried to downplay it all those months. But after coming back to it, I realize now that the workouts, mental and physical exercise and camaraderie it provides are things I can't live without.

Current mood: Creative

'The Soup' rules all

When human rights are given to nonhumans

Spain’s recent vote to give limited human rights to Great Apes is a great start at breaking down the species barriers, under which humans are regarded as godlike and the rest of the animal kingdom are treated like dirt. But some are aghast. Catholic bishops attacked the vote as undermining a divine will that placed humans above animals.

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I'm not sure where I stand on this. But read further in, and more to the point: To what should the right not to be killed and eaten for food be extended?

Haulin’ asteroid in Iowa

So I’m out on my bike and I see a UHaul van parked on the road. I like the artwork they put on the sides of the vans; it’s always about some attraction from a specific state. In this case, the state was Iowa, and I was pretty surprised to see this picture...

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Spot the space station

During the next couple of weeks, North Americans and Europeans will have many opportunities to see the ISS flying over their homes, due chiefly to a seasonal circumstance.

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Where is the Afghan female runner?

The Afghan middle-distance runner was on the verge of realizing her Olympic dream. But now Andyar — slated to be the only female Afghan athlete at the Beijing Games — has gone missing from her training site just weeks before the opening ceremonies.

UPDATE: She is seeking asylum. /cheer

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FISA: Another epic failure in America's history

Today is going to go down as a dark day in our nation's history, as the Senate completes its total capitulation to the Bush administration and its corporate masters, through passing legislation that dramatically expands the government's surveillance powers and immunizes the companies responsible for illegally spying on us.

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OMG

OK, so it likely was painstakingly trained on how to draw each line and probably isn't aware of the end result. But still, it's intelligent enough to be able to memorize the steps and dextrous enough to control the brush and form the shapes. To kill or torture these creatures is unconscionable.

The Urge to End It: The Science of Suicide

In September 2000, Kevin Hines, a 19-year-old college student suffering from bipolar disorder, leapt from the Golden Gate. Along with Ken Baldwin, he is one of only 29 known survivors of the fall. Today Hines controls his bipolar disorder with medication and a strictly controlled regimen of diet and exercise and sleep, even while maintaining a frenetic schedule. Having recently married, he is frequently on the road lecturing for a suicide-prevention network while simultaneously working toward a psychology degree. One of his most intense ambitions, though, is to finally see a suicide barrier erected on the Golden Gate.

“I’ll tell you what I can’t get out of my head,” he told me in his San Francisco living room. “It’s watching my hands come off that railing and thinking to myself, My God, what have I just done? Because I know that almost everyone else who’s gone off that bridge, they had that exact same thought at that moment. All of a sudden, they didn’t want to die, but it was too late. Somehow I made it; they didn’t; and now I feel it’s my responsibility to speak for them.”

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Mysteries of time, and the multiverse

In his studies of entropy and the irreversibility of time, Caltech physicist Sean Carroll is exploring the idea that our universe is part of a larger structure.

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"The bombs bursting in air..." and in your hands

Can someone explain fireworks to me? I'm not feeling 'em. I'm not talking about the professional productions They put on at the theme parks. Those I can dig. What I don't get are the ones you buy from a tent vendor on the side of the road. Despite it not yet being the Fourth, people are shooting them off like crazy outside, and this is likely to keep up for the next couple of days. I feel like I'm huddled in a house in the middle of a firefight in Sadr City.

Every year 'round this time, you read all the stories about people losing a finger or burning themselves, or a tent spectacularly going up in flames. Let me just step over to the right side of the line a bit and say I'm not necessarily for government regulation of the activity -- I believe natural selection will do its work here. But if you're going to shoot off fireworks in the street between our houses, be sure you clean up all the litter and shells that land in my yard -- like you didn't do one year. Or if you happen to set yourself on fire, please stop, drop and roll in your own driveway.

Current mood: Angry

A little too convenient

Since I'm subscribed to a bunch of friends' blogs via Google Reader, I often forget to actually go to their sites and read the comments or see the pictures posted there. I just now noticed Uptown5 has this picture on his main page! LOL!

Current mood: Alert
Current music: Hell's Kitchen | The Orb

Stay strong

Good luck to one of my bestest friends in the whole world, who is having hip surgery tomorrow. Love you and see you soon. XOXOX.

Anxious in America

It’s the state of America now that is the most gripping source of anxiety for Americans, not Al Qaeda or Iraq.

I've given up on being a "real person"

"Live outside the box," eloquently put.

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Delaying news in the era of the Internet

Good NYT story on Wikipedia and Tim Russert

I'm in heaven

The 10 horniest Quagmire moments

Current mood: Sleepy

Are we watching a Tribune train wreck in progress?

From Steve Outing. You have to read the original memo and the first parody. Priceless.

Current mood: Sleepy

Simple pleasures, one in a series

The art of living frugally

Current mood: Inspired

What one pilot would really like to say from the cockpit

"Before we take off, I would like to apologize on behalf of this and every airline for the hassle you just endured at the security checkpoint. As is patently obvious to any reasonable person, the humiliating shoe removals, liquids ban, and pointy-object confiscations do little to make us safer...."

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You say recession, I say opportunity to live healthy

There is an optimistic refrain spiraling around: Maybe this financial comeuppance will teach Americans a valuable lesson about living healthier, smarter and within our means.

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My minor addiction to computer gadgets notwithstanding, I've always wondered about Americans' compulsion to have the latest, most expensive toys -- that subsequently end up in a landfill a year later, when we bore of them and newer versions come out. We seem to be incapable of resisting the marketing and advertising with which we are surrounded.

The big downside of our economic prosperity of the late early '90s was that it allowed us to overindulge, consume and spend. We Americans are a victim of our own success. Because of our relative wealth, we are now overweight, overmedicated, unable to relax and lacking attention spans. As has been said before, perhaps $5-a-gallon gas isn't such a bad thing.

Current mood: Optimistic

Why women quit technology careers

More than half of the women in science, engineering and IT leave the field at mid­career. Here are some reasons, from the Center for Work-Life Policy in New York.

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As a woman in her 30s who has just left a tech career, I can say from my perspective, half of this is true.

The "antigens" listed on the first page -- primarily, machismo and a perception by the IT good ol' boys club that women are genetically inferior -- are factors that I, luckily, have not experienced. With the exception of one position, I have been treated with respect at all of my jobs, and I have always felt like I was an equal member of the team. (I will add the asterisk that a good portion of my career has been spent in journalism, a field in which there is [1] a fair ratio of men to women -- sometimes to a politically-correct fault, and [2] a workforce that reflexively strives for objectivity.)

That's not to say that I have not see machismo firsthand. It mostly came from older men who wielded some power in the workplace, encouraging their behavior, and this is the exception to which I referred. They're the ones who have a wife and girlfriend on the side. It's not a stretch to think their sons stand a good chance of carrying on that mentality.

I tend to connect better with men than women, so it's easy for me to laugh along with the off-color or sexual jokes I hear. I know the folks who have told those jokes are respectable, hardworking men who don't seriously mean what they are saying and only tell them for a laugh. I know there's no reason to take those jokes seriously. And when you're a woman in a workplace dominated by men, it's a given you're going to hear locker-room talk that men tell other men. If you're a woman who can't laugh at some locker-room jokes, a male-dominated career might not be the place for you to work (within any reasonable person's definition of jokes, of course). I think it would be the same the other way around: If a man worked in a female-dominated workplace, he'd likely hear more conversations about Aunt Flo and glass-vs.-plastic baby bottles than he's used to. It's just the environment.

As for the factors listed on the second page of the article, these are the antigens I have experienced in my career: isolation, lack of mentorship and rewarding riskier behavior patterns.

The final antigen concluded by the study -- that the tech industry is unfriendly to families -- may or may not be true. It does say that many women in other fields will leave to start a family and try to get back into their industry later. In my experience, I have found that not to be case. Once they left the workforce to have children, the women I worked with tended not to come back; and if they did, it was either to come back part-time or perhaps take an occasional contract job only to keep up a licensure or certification. I understand the decision, and if I had chosen to start a family, it, of course, would be my top priority. However, I do think that women who choose to have children and also want to work have an insurmountable hurdle in maintaining both, particulary in tech, where 50- to 70-hour workweeks are expected. It's not an industry that forgives those who expect to have a life outside of work, which is a shame. That was a factor in my leaving my last job, and I don't even have kids. Neither did the two other coworkers who did what I did, and they both were also my age, which speaks to the industry being one for singles and DINKs -- two demographics in which women who choose to be tend to be looked down upon in our society.

One of the Diggers who commented on the article brought up the fact that part of the reason for the dearth of women in tech jobs is that women and men just have different interests and strengths. Women tend to be more right-brained, and men tend to be more left-brained (blanket statements, of course), and by definition, left-brained folks will find it easier to succeed in science and technology careers. Although I think attitudes and interests are changing to be more homogenous, I do think it's a valid consideration.

As the article said, if a man fails at a task, he likely will be forgiven by his peers; if a woman fails, the rest of her tenure in that job might be defined that mistake. The willingness to take risk goes back to our culture. In our society, girls are expected to behave demurely, quietly and obediently, whereas gregariousness, curiosity, vocality are expected of boys. I am not attributing blame, only stating how things have evolved. Then, as adults, it becomes easier for men to take chances; for women, taking chances can lead to insecurity and self-doubt, mostly because it's territory into which women aren't as accustomed. That's not to say that these hurdles cannot be overcome, but men have an inherent head-start in risk-taking.

Here's a first-person account of risk-taking behavior among men and women, as told by my super-genius sister, who recently changed jobs:

I have come across an interesting phenomenon in the course of [a] job change. Most literature on women's -vs- men's pay, human resources, etc. claims that women earn, on average, $0.77 for every dollar a man earns. The scientific literature on the subject attributes this to mostly two reasons: first, women predominate in professions with lower pay scales (think teachers, librarians, and cafeteria lunch ladies), and second, women don't negotiate their pay increases as aggressively as men. ...

... My [old] pay scale overlaps with the pay scale of my new job. The new job tops out higher than my old job, but my [old] rate of pay is higher than the bottom of the new pay scale. ... The normal M.O. [in public-sector work] is for everyone to start at the bottom and work their way up in stages; starting above minimum isn't unheard of, but it is unusual, and it requires additional layers of approval to happen. When I interviewed for the new job, I made it clear I would not consider the job unless I started out above the minimum of the pay range; actually, I put down my current salary as my minimum requirement. My [old] salary falls somewhere between the bottom and the middle of the salary range of the new job, so I didn't feel that my request was unreasonable, especially with [my] experience. ...

Fast forward to getting the job offer, and the hiring supervisor asked me point blank what I'd like to get paid. I named a figure that is 5% above what I [was] making, and she said okay she'd see about it. I arrived at the 5% above figure by talking to [by BF's] mom. ...

Here is where the interesting part comes in, at least to me. Every single male I spoke with afterward told me I should have asked for 10%, if not higher. And most, if not all, of the females I talked to afterward thought 5% was reasonable with all the other variables factored in (the pay tops out higher, I get a review and a raise in 6 months, etc). So it seems we ladies do indeed aim low when it comes to negotiating pay.

Although the headline of this blog post is not representative of the story, a Wired blogger sums it best.

Current mood: Hopeful

How to live with just 100 things

Excess consumption is practically an American religion. But as anyone with a filled-to-the-gills closet knows, the things we accumulate can become oppressive, which is why people are so intrigued by the 100 Thing Challenge, a grass-roots movement in which otherwise seemingly normal folks are pledging to whittle down their possessions to 100 things.

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Behind the scenes of 'The Colbert Report'

Stephen Colbert may inject his character into politics and media, just as he might wind up in the Smithsonian or Canadian junior league hockey. He's created a kind of satire in action, teetering between his self-made universe and an often equally absurd real world. It's a constant balancing act that last year nearly had him on the road to the White House.

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The wife John McCain left behind

There is another Mrs. McCain who casts a ghostly shadow over the senator’s presidential campaign. She is seldom seen and rarely written about, despite being mother to McCain’s three eldest children. She is McCain’s first wife, Carol.

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Unemployed

I left behind a well-paying, professional job with great perks and benefits last week.

I quit by choice, abruptly, an animalistic act of self-preservation sparked by a continual state of fright, fight or flight I could not turn off.

I was overwhelmed by the amount of stress and work that hung over me, and there was no light at the end of the tunnel. I can't really say whether that's how it always had been there. All I know is that that amount of stress was not something my body could sustain. My health was suffering. We all know that regular exercise relieves stress and depression. But I couldn't find the time or energy to exercise regularly because I was working and traveling so much, thus perpetuating the problem.

I've run through What Went Wrong over and over again in my head. Basically, the job just wasn't what I expected, and in the end, I decided I couldn't adapt to what it really was before I ended up in the hospital. I was surprised and discouraged at how much is done on the fly there, like a huge project that is plopped in your inbox at 4:59 p.m. on a Friday. And that's How Things Are. I then concluded that no one ever really gets ahead of the workload there, one only gets used to it. And I didn't think I could before something terrible happened to me.

I did like some parts of the job; namely, the networking, installing, software testing and tinkering. But most of the rest of it just didn't fit well with me, and the amount of that was more than I could take. Part of my job was giving presentations, something I am not good at. There were times when I felt like I could, over time, get used to doing them and perhaps even become proficient at them. But a horrific experience in which nothing went right, alone, in front of a customer, completely rattled my confidence, and I had little time after that to regroup before I was thrust into a similar but more stressful situation.

Other things happened during my travels that were not the fault of the company for which I worked, such as lost luggage and missed/canceled flights, that further added to my stress. The travel woes happened to me with such frequency that I'd gained a rep in the office as the one with the bad travel karma, and co-workers joked they were afraid to travel with me for fear of being stranded somewhere overnight. I also got into a very minor fender-bender leaving work one day. Those outside, out-of-anyone's-control stressors were a small contributor to my ill-fated ending, to be sure, but they happened often enough that I truly began to wonder, "Is someone trying to tell me something? Is this a message?"

In the end, I regret leaving the way I did. But I don't regret leaving. I'd made up my mind I was going to, but I didn't know when.

I'm just trying not to think of myself as a failure. I've heard many kind words from supportive friends who shared similar stories of how they left a decent job after a short time, and I am so thankful for their empathy. I'm also extremely grateful for my loving boyfriend, who put up with me and my mood swings these past couple of months and supported me in my decision.

As for what's next: I'll find something, whether it be back in publishing or massage therapy. The door is open.

Current mood: Peaceful

Typo personalities

They fight a losing battle, an unyielding tide of misplaced apostrophes and poor spelling. But still, they fight. For the last three months, they have circled the nation in search of awkward grammar. They have shone a light on typos in public places, sleeping on the couches of college friends. They are like a pair of Kerouacs with Sharpies.

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Lost parrot tells veterinarian his address

When Yosuke the parrot flew out of his cage and got lost, he did exactly what he had been taught — recite his name and address to a stranger willing to help.

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Creepy factoid learned day

Pepsi and Coke aren't available at vegan restaurants.

In rubble, Chinese couple clung to each other, and to life

At the moment of greatest despair, Wang Zhijun tried to kill himself by twisting his neck against the debris. Breathing had become harder as day turned to night. The chunks of brick and concrete that had buried him and his wife were pressing tighter by the hour, crushing them. Their bodies had gone numb...

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NMT 35.5?

In the spirit of early 1990s, college nostalgia brought on by fellow music lover Uptown5 in his latest New Music Tuesday, I present a couple of songs by The The (Matt Johnson). This first song, unfortunately, probably is best known to you and all the Kids These Days as the music behind an M&Ms marketing campaign. I was bitter at Johnson for a while for selling it out to The Man after seeing the commercial for the first, oh, 20 times, but then again, if The Man were dangling a million-dollar check in my face to use a song I wrote 25 years ago, I'd probably say, "where do I sign?" too. Anyway the song just isn't the same without the lyrics, which aren't in the commercial. Ever since I heard The The back in college, Johnson has been, hands-down, my favorite songwriter. Dark, truthful, relevant, brilliant. So I present to you, the original, nostalgic "This is the Day":



Well, you didn't wake up this morning
'Cause you didn't go to bed
You were watching the whites of your eyes turn red
The calendar on your wall
Is ticking the days off
You've been reading some old letters
You smile and think how much you've changed
All the money in the world
Couldn't buy back those days

You pull back the curtains
And the sun burns into your eyes
You watch a plane flying across a clear blue sky
This is the day
Your life will surely change
This is the day
When things fall into place

You could've done anything
If you'd wanted
And all your friends and family think that you're lucky
But the side of you they'll never see
Is when you're left alone with the memories
That hold your life together like
Glue

You pull back the curtains
And the sun burns into your eyes
You watch a plane flying across a clear blue sky
This is the day
Your life will surely change
This is the day
When things fall into place

This is the day
Your life will surely change
(repeat)

---

This second song is perhaps the most depressing song I've ever heard. I can't even listen to it without tearing up, and I've heard it hundreds of times. It's a duet called "Kingdom of Rain," about two lovers who have grown apart. She did not appear in the video, but Sinead O'Connor sang the female lead. God, now I'm depressed again. :/

I'm still here -- barely

I have struggled these past couple of months with a profound case of nervousness, insecurity and self-doubt, primarily brought about by my New Job, which is why I've been absent from your life for so long. I owe you an explanation, if you'll lend me an ear.

The New Job is nothing like I have done before. That's not to say I'm not familiar with the tasks associated with it: I now work for a newspaper software company, of which I am experienced in both sides. I worked in a newsroom of a Large Daily Paper for 15 years, and before that and during that time, I dabbled in scripting and programming, worked for an online news site and, on my own, learned some rudimentary HTML. On face value, I'm the perfect fit for the New Job.

What I was not prepared for were the intangible skills required: a flair for conversation, a flair for persuasion, the ability to think on your feet, the ability to get things done on the fly, talking loud and confidently, nonlinear thinking, presentation skills.

I think like a computer: Words, ideas, concepts are either true or false, black or white. Yes or no. There is no gray. Gray is inefficient. Perhaps that's why I was good at what I did at the Large Daily Paper. I turned raw data into beautiful, symmetrical columns; kerned headlines so that the space between each letter was perfectly balanced; lined up blocks of type down to the point. Not a hair out of place. To the bean-counters, I was called a designer. But honestly, I was good at it not because I had artistic skill but because I was precise, clean, timely, efficient. The copy desk of a newspaper is a white-collar assembly line, and I was a good fit at my station.

To say that the New Job has taken me out of that level of comfort would be the understatement of the century. I am now a business traveler, blindly feeling my way from airport to job site to job site to airport, hoping -- stressing -- that my next flight isn't delayed or canceled. But moreover, I'm meeting-and-greeting; gripping-and-grinning; pretending to lead a group of cynical, skeptical journalists through training sessions on software that's buggy on a good day; struggling to come up with polite words to explain why Adobe InDesign crashed for the nth time.

When I ask coworkers how something is done, there are 10 different answers and 20 different ways to do it, depending on who you ask and who the software customer is. As I said, my brain doesn't work that way. My brain thinks there's one answer to every question. It treats every situation as if it were a Trivial Pursuit card: Sports: Who was the only player in history to win four major NHL awards in one season? Bobby Orr. (Aside: If you're playing that game and you get a historical NHL question to which you don't know the answer, guess either Wayne Gretzky or Bobby Orr.) Anyway, as I said, I think linearly. I was successful in school because there was typically one answer to a question. You either got it right or you didn't. I might have taken the long way to get there, but eventually, there was only one right answer. As for essay tests, I can say with confidence that I had enough spelling and grammar and regurgitation skills to impress. I might have gotten the answer wrong, but I spewed enough well-written and well-crafted BS to earn a B.

So when I am faced with No Right Answer, or there are 10 different ways to do it depending, I am paralyzed. I cannot proceed. And I am not allowed time to analyze the myriad outcomes and deduce the best course of action. I am a deer in the headlights. And my confidence is shaken.

I hate asking for help to get from Point A to Point B. At the Large Daily Paper, I'd been there so long, I rarely had to ask for help. And I wouldn't anyway if I needed it. I'd just figure it out. At the New Job, I am forced to continually ask, "What does this do?", "Where should I save that?", "Where did that go?," "Why is that in the manual when it doesn't work the way it should?" (Answer: It does -- in the next wersion. Forehead, meet keyboard.) It is incredibly humbling and demoralizing.

I've always struggled with severe insecurity. The New Job has not helped that condition.

Here's what I'm not, never have been and always prayed to God I were: Talkative, eloquent, loud, confident, jovial, witty, thick-skinned, popular. And those are the skills I am reminded I don't possess every single day at the New Job.

I'm sure the insecurity and the "what I'm not" list are inextricably tied.

"They" say it's good to take yourself out of your comfort zone every now and then to develop new skills, to make yourself a better person. The They who said that either must have been in a cushy job they would never leave, or retired.

So now you understand when I say I wasn't prepared for the New Job. I don't possess the necessary intangible skills. My comfort zone hasn't just been taken away. It has been obliterated. For the second time in my life, I have been longing for professional help, either psychological or medicinal.

Current mood: Depressed

Why the cyclone in Myanmar was so deadly

It was Asia's Hurricane Katrina — though with a reported 100,000 killed, it was many times more deadly. Packing winds upward of 120 mph (193 kilometers an hour), Cyclone Nargis became one of Asia's deadliest storms by hitting land at one of the lowest points in Myanmar (also called Burma) and setting off a storm surge that reached 25 miles inland.

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Tetris theme played on glass bottles

Our obsession with Tetris is probably only matched by LEGO, Star Wars, and Futurama. However, this video of three synchronized bottle-blowers interpreting Korobeiniki — the famous Tetris theme song — shows that a) our fetishes are really not that bad, b) we are too lazy, c) we don't have as much free time as we would like to do silly things like these.

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Soldier sues Army, saying his atheism led to threats

Army Specialist Jeremy Hall said he did not advertise his atheism during his service, but his views became apparent during his second deployment to Iraq. An officer told him, and others, they would be punished for not being Christians like the founding fathers, nullifying religious freedom to believe or not believe.

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Geek fun

From RJ: Atari catalog, 1981

Female athletes resist Saudi restrictions

"We want to reach Olympic levels," said Shatha Bakhsh, 21, a law student. "We have a lot of potential, but not the chance to show it." Powerful religious clerics ban sports for girls in public schools, deeming it un-Islamic, and recently canceled two rare all-women's events, a soccer match and a marathon.

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Leaving beautiful Bithloville, Quebec

Somewhere in the armpit of Quebec

Snowmobiles parked out front of my Comfort Inn like motorcycles

Om nom nom nom...

Your dose of cute for the day.

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Q: Do condoms help stop HIV? McCain: "You've stumped me"

NYT blog: Mr. McCain: “You’ve stumped me...Brian, would you find out what my position is on contraception – I’m sure I’m opposed to government spending on it, I’m sure I support the president’s policies on it.”

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Goosebumps

Obama's speech on race (37-minute video, with interactive transcript via NYT)

I watched every minute of it. He's an incredible orator, and given his life history and family background, it's hard not to think as you watch him speak -- he apparently wrote much of the speech himself the night before -- that he means every word he says, that's he's not bullshitting you like you'd expect from a politician eyeing the White House.

I fear for this man's life.

LOL!

#6

Home free

Just wanted to let everyone know I got home safely this afternoon. My persistence to camp out all night at O'Hare and try to keep my place on the standby list to MCO eventually paid off, so I managed to get home before my confirmed flight Saturday night to Jacksonville.

Tears in my eyes, I was never was so happy to be in Florida humidity.

Hallelujah.

Edit: I just noticed that this post and the previous post were both posted on the same day (Friday). I never would have believed that until I saw it. It feels as though 3 days have passed since I posted the previous one from a sports lounge at the old, musty Hilton attached to ORD.

Nightmare

Waited 2 hours on standby at ORD for United's last flight out to MCO for the night

Earlier, nearly lost it at an attendant, who, to talk me off the ledge, put me at the top of the standby list

But I didn't get called

Defeated, went to United "customer service" desk, where I spent the next 2 hours

Saw two pissed-off men at the front of the line almost come to blows -- they literally were nose-to-nose, F-word flying, until someone else came between them

Finally got to speak to an attendant

I apparently had become overtly agigated (became "That Guy" in line, the stereotypical short-fused person in a long line who causes an uncomfortable scene) because a second, snootier attendant asked what was going on and intervened

Yelled at him, periodically cutting him off mid-sentence when he tried to use his "blame the passenger" attitude on me

Almost came to tears when I was told there are NO flights on ANY airline to ANY airport in Florida until Saturday night, or I could wait until Sunday. Even asked about first and business classes and was willing to pay; was told there was nothing to offer even for purchase

Booked me on flight to JAX for Saturday night

Supposed to be home Thursday night

Will spend the night on a bench at ORD, holding out slim hope I can fly standby first thing Friday

This will definitely hold some weight when I finally decide whether I actually can do this new job.

Vancouver, Washington

A Crude Case for War?

"We may not know the real motivations behind the Iraq war for years, but it remains difficult to distill oil from all the possibilities. That's because our society and economy have been nursed on cheap oil, and the idea that oil security is a right as well as a necessity has become part of our foreign policy DNA, handed down from Franklin D. Roosevelt to Jimmy Carter to George H.W. Bush. And the war and its untidy aftermath have, in fact, swelled the coffers of the world's biggest oil companies.

But it hasn't happened in the way anyone might have imagined."

Inside Beijing's shocking death camp for cats

Thousands of pet cats in Beijing are being abandoned by their owners and sent to die in secretive government pounds as China mounts an aggressive drive to clean up the capital in preparation for the Olympic Games.

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Brrr. Beautiful morning.

Timeline of Bush admin's politicization of terror, 2002-2008

Keith Olbermann presents an impressively detailed timeline called "The Nexus of Politics and Terror," chronicling the Bush admin's exploitation of terror threats for political gain. "What we were told about terror, and not told, for security reasons, has overlapped considerably with what we were told about terror, and not told, for political reasons."

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'After reading this I don't think that I've ever felt so ashamed of being male'

The men who sleep with prostitutes

We learn more about this administration from foreign media than our own (another in a series)

The Dallas Morning News published an adapted version of a longer article by former CIA officer Philip Giraldi commenting on Sibel Edmonds' case and the failure of the U.S. mainstream media to cover the news that FBI whistleblower Sibel Edmonds, "the most gagged person in US history" according to the ACLU, is now risking prison to share her story.

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